How My Son's Birthday Reminded Me of One of Life's Great Lessons
As I celebrate my son's 15th birthday, I am reminded how fast time goes and how living in the moment is so important for us all.
I felt scared and powerless.
My 2-year-old son Michael was deathly ill and, after eight weeks, resembled a starving child from a third-world country. He could barely stand, his stomach was distended, he could not eat or drink, and he had a minimal appetite. This once energetic and happy toddler was wasting away before my eyes and nothing seemed to stop it.
I immediately researched what it could be as our pediatrician couldn’t figure out what it was more than some virus or other average intestinal bug that might be going around. But this was not that. It had now been eight weeks, and my son was getting worse.
After I found some information on Celiac Disease - an autoimmune disease that means the eating of gluten triggers an immune response in your small intestine - I told the doctor. He was shocked and asked why I asked about getting him tested. I showed him my research, and he immediately ordered the test. Back then, 13 years ago, that test took almost 10 days. Meanwhile, my son continued to wilt away.
That following weekend, we were bathing him, and I openly wept seeing his condition. He was dying before us, and I couldn’t take it. It was a Sunday morning, and I told my wife we would take him to Rady’s Children’s Hospital in San Diego. We immediately got everyone packed up and left for the emergency room.
Fast forward — my son was admitted, prepped for an exploratory scope procedure, and within two days had been officially diagnosed with Celiac Disease. He was admitted to the hospital and pumped full of liquids to nourish him and help him heal. It worked, and today he celebrates his 15th birthday.
Today, Michael is a freshman in high school and thriving. I am sure that early suffering and the challenges he faced impacted his personality and gave him the inherent peace and calmness he possesses today. He’s an amazingly loving, understanding, patient, happy, and helpful young man. There is a goodness in him that is remarkable.
When we celebrate his birthday, I am glad he is happy and healthy — as I am with all my kids. But today, I am perhaps feeling what it means to be grateful for how things have worked for him.
As he sat in the passenger seat of my truck this morning on the way to school, he dozed off as usual. Looking at him, I realized he was just three years away from 18. Like all my kid’s ages, I am happy and proud during each stage of their lives. Yet, as they pass through those stages, there is a tinge of sadness.
Not only am I getting older, but those moments I see in photos of when they were smaller mean so much. I can remember them, but I can never relive them.
There’s a duality in that. The sadness of an ending mixed with an excitement of the beginning of who they will be, not just who they were then.
The lesson is to live each moment to its fullest. It’s fleeting and far more essential to be present for it than capturing it on your phone or video. Sure, pictures help us recall those moments. Yet, they’re a poor facsimile of being fully active and attentive in those moments.
Time goes on, and it moves faster as you age. Some old man once told that to me once.
Now, I know what he means.