Christmas Joy & Sadness
Christmas is my favorite time of the year for so many reasons but as I age, it's hard not to also feel a tinge of sadness for those I've lost
As children, Christmas holds a special place in our hearts. The magic of the season and the anticipation that builds within the confines of childhood innocence is truly special. Yes, the excitement over the gifts and the special time spent with family and friends fills your young heart with joy and unbridled enthusiasm.
As I grow older - no longer a child but a middle-aged father - the scope of Christmas changes but still tugs on my heartstrings like nothing else.
Of course, in our household, the focus on Christmas centers on what it is all about - the birth of Christ. As I age, my faith and appreciation for the gathering portion of the holiday deepen. With two adult-aged children now and three still at home, it’s truly one of the times of the year I know our complete nuclear family will be together. It gives me a new appreciation for the classic Christmas song I’ll Be Home for Christmas, written in 1943 by Kim Gannon and Walter Kent amid World War II, as I put not only myself in the singer’s footsteps but also as someone who knows the days where one of my kids may marry and be unable to spend Christmas at home is fast approaching. While the song was written originally from the point of view of a soldier serving away from home, its messages and the deepness of longing for home during this time of the year ring true for all families.
The greatest gift you can give anyone is to show them they matter.
The gathering of our family is bittersweet this day as between my wife and me, we have only my mom left. Brothers, sisters, and cousins abound, but the parental bond at Christmas is important to us both, and we do get sad this time of the year without them.
In recent years loss for me (as I have written about several times in this space) has especially hit me hard. I lost my father, my very best lifelong friend, and a key mentor, in two years. It’s been rough, and I’m thinking about all three of them this Christmas season.
We know the holidays are challenging for people due to loss, mental illness, and stress. What is supposed to be the most joyous part of the year can be the opposite for many. We must stay connected and reach out to those we know who might be struggling during this time of the year and at any time. While the myth that suicide rates increase this time of the year was put to rest long ago (more actually occur in the spring and fall, according to the CDC), while we’re enjoying the love and laughter of family and friends, we mustn’t forget those who are struggling.
Most of my time this Christmas season will be spent at home with my wife and kids, and it will be joyful. But I will also spend time contemplating those I’ve lost and how much their memories mean to me now and throughout the rest of my life. I’ll do my best to turn those thoughts of sadness into more appreciation for the gift each, and every one of them was in my life. I’ll remember the years of great and happy Christmas mornings with my Dad. Those were special; until I lost him, I hadn’t really thought about them.
I’ll also think about my children as they grow. No longer small, their lives are changing, and so is mine. Passing through life stages isn’t always easy. I often find myself mired in melancholy thoughts this time of the year.
Just remember to love those dear to you and to reach out and show love to those who might not feel it now or at other times of the year. The greatest gift you can give anyone is to show them they matter.
Well, it’s time to return to my Christmas music and enjoy some time off with those I love. Thank you for reading; you all matter to me very much.
Merry Christmas.
“A MERRY HEART DOES GOOD LIKE MEDICINE.” — PROVERBS 17:22